H ! & 8 8

I'm not a quiet person. If you think I am. I advise you to please use more time to find out. I'm kind of talkative if you know me well. hehe. However I make friends slow and easy to lose a friend...That's make my friend circle becoming smaller and smaller. I treasure my friend of course but just can't help in this problem. This is because I don't know how to mix with some Hi Bye friend as I can't find any topic to share with. It seems fake for me to pretend close to them which I never will do. I remember I say Hi to my friend once but he failed to recall who am I even after I try hard to remind him. I felt so embarrssing like I'm acting stupid on the street. There's also once I thought my friend was greeting me and talking to me. When I answered only I realise they are actually not asking me things nor talking to me...again feels so embarrassing. That's drove me to remain silent if I'm not sure. Sometimes my friend asking me things also I will remain silent as I thought they are not talking to me...people starting to feel I'm LCLY.

18/12/2008 > 04/01/2009 > BREAK

Today onwards is my sem break. Although it's not long as like other courses which has 3 months of holiday, it's still a period of time for me to rest and relax before going WAR zone early next year...CHARGE before energy DEAD

i'm gooD at something oK !!!

Today when I reached home, I rush to Mr. K house to help him install modem and activate Internet to help him save another MYR 88. (it's not datuk K) I guess no one is appreciating my effort. People always thought I'm a failure. I paid a lot of effort in order to help but no one knows. When they look at it, it seems that it's an easy task for me without knowing it's tough. In a HOT like OVEN living room at NOON, you feel like cooking yourself. Please oh GOD, I don't want to be xmas Turkey. I have no responsibility to help either. Why should I make myself in trouble helping and what I got is embarrassment

Final exam Feature Writing Y2S2

In the end, it's DEJAVU. Is it a curse or I reacting too slow or I'm just too dumb or maybe I'm too CALM? Why I always unable to finish answering questions in exam? I kept on reminding myself everyday and night. Even during exam, I try to keep myself stick to the allocate time for each section that I've plan but I still failed to accomplish. This is not the first time, it happened in my STPM too... can you imagine...it's STPM !!! In fact most of the paper since I'm in Year 1 Sem 1 also I experienced the same thing. I'm thinking what if I able to finish answering on time...Again I felt disappointed with myself. There's no one I can blame but me. =(

Astronaut-Mission to Star

At last I knew which company I've been selected for practical training after it became one of the hot topic for discussion. Editorial department surely will be a great challenge for me. I not really have exact idea of how's the life being a journalist. From what i heard from seniors and lecturers, there's only one word inside my mind to describe about the world of my future job-BUSY. I'm sure I'll learn a lot in this practical training as reporter are exposed to all sort of things; things that you can imagine and things that you can't imagine too. People always telling me that this job is TOUGH and now I'm going to experience it starting 5th of Jan 2009. It may be a turning point in my life...I mean what I experienced there might have a huge influence in how I decide my future.

Big Onions, Small Onions >>>World War III

Recently there is a Big New Onion officially open somewhere nearby behind my house. Besides that, there is a Big Old Onion at East direction and a Small Old Onion at the West direction. Though they might be small or old...but all three of the onion are equal level in term of strength. They will never fail to bombard us 5 times a day, for sure and it is very punctual. What so irritating is the early morning attack by them when the sky is still dark. All the onion have their own strategy although they are from the same gang. Each of the onion only will have 1 attack, however they are smart enough not to launch the attack all at the same time. The attack will be continuous one after another. Big New Onion has the most POWERFUL attack. It's attack is about 15-20 minutes and it will surely rock you off your bed, pull you from seventh heaven to 18th level of hell or drive you crazy. Followed by Big Old Onion. It is the longest and the attack is quite powerful. Its attacking ability is unbelievable because it can bombard you from another territory (region) with 30 minutes of non-stop missile. Small Old Onion is located within the same region but it got low attacking power so only those who are near that area will be affected seriously. Overall is not too bad for Small Old Onion except for the victims nearby because it guarantee to destroy every single enemy within its compound. I wonder why there are so much money to build onion? wasting money and make our life miserable. This is what we called tolerate? Why we tolerate you and not you tolerate us?

Last Minute VS Last Second

Once again I take a very high risk in doing my assignment...finish it at the eleventh hour. Feel my works are not good in quality compare to average standard. Among cost, speed and quality...either one can be choose. In my case, my work is always slow in speed, low in quality and high in cost. hat-trick worst of the worst.

Feature Writing Mid Term

A result that I had to be content. As expected to score badly in writing section as I always do. Luckily managed to score in other sections for recovery. Overall still on the track but I don't think can hold on as finals only consist of writing which is my Achilles' heel...I have to read more English books, watch more English movies, listen more English songs, read less English newspaper, speak less Manglish and etc

I Own a Bungalow

At age 21, with the economic recession all around the world. Someone will be considered rich if he owns a bungalow. Today I had one, this is not the first time I have it. So nothing for me to happy about. Interested to know how did I manage to own a bungalow in just 1 second ? Well, it is easy...I knocked my head on a huge concrete beam when I was on my way home and I appeared to be the winner for the first prize. So lucky...the prize was a bungalow on my head. Hope won't have any brain damage because I thought my head is bleeding that time...Nothing comes easy

L R T- Putra

Today, when I was on my home, again the frustration build up in every passenger of the train...This is not the first time our public transports provide us with the third world services...All they knew what to do is " Harap maaf, train akan tiba lewat kerana masalah teknikal, train will arrived late due to technical problems. Sorry for all the inconvenience" Please tell us earlier to find alternatives, sorry doesn't help.

I Screwed mY Feature Writing Mid-Term

Section A
1) Having spell wrongly a very common word.

2) Did wrongly on easy BONUS questions.

Section B
1) Screw Section B though still remembered what I've studied a minute before.

2) Spend too much time on stupid interview notes.


Section C
1) Forgot to write my name on it...wth...

2) Forgot to write title on it...wtf...

3) Write half a page instead of 2 pages requirement for the length


I feel so disappointed again...am I not well prepared or just my luck?

STUPID MALAYSIA PUBLIC TRANSPORT

I really don't understand why public transport in Malaysia is like SHIT....sucks. Although Prime Minister said he went to experience the public transport but it is still more or less the same...stil THIRD WORLD facilities that we enjoying...MALAYSIA BOLEH. Having to wait buses for hours and the fare is not cheap either...with traffic congestion...a 20 min walking distance destination can use up to 2 hours if travel by bus...Imagine how fast the bus is...LRT is worst. Pack like sardin along with 300 people in a small coach is a matter, the fare again is expensive. Wait for a train is taking your life. Spend precious time to waste our life is what we do everyday. Kind of stupid things that we stil doing it for past don't know how many years

Pendidikan Moral Exam

I study but nothing gets inside my mind. When I hold my pen, nothing to be written down although I already read the notes and doing revision repeatedly... I'm retarded...Disappointed and do not know what am I doing. My brain are empty and blank

bad LIFESTYLE

I had a very bad lifestyle...not only bad but also unhealthy

1) Sleep earliest by 3a.m while need to wake up at 5am+
2) Sleep as soon as after dinner.
3) Facing computer 6 hours a day.

Y2S2

I thought can have some rest in this short sem. I've dropped my Bahasa Kebangsaan. Only 2 subjects that is Pendidikan Moral and Feature Writing. Unfortunately, I still have to study 5 days a week. 4 days of 8am classes which mean I have to wake up at 5am+. No rest. I knew my english is not good and I'm not Chinese educated. I feel I'm just nothing. Nothing is good. I suddenly have some little fire beneath me again. Wish the fire can drive me to success.

Xplode-Weak

So tired being attacked and psychological abuse by someone. What a shit democracy is in this world. Why there is a stupid democracy? Which smart ass idiot think of democracy? It make my life so miserable. It courage people to FIGHT for freedom, FIGHT for your rights...All I know is non other than FIGHT...Everyone said his rights, FIGHT for his rights...so many rights...so is that there is no wrong or left? Everyone is RIGHT....FUnNY. FIGHT does not solve your problem..It hurts people around you. Let it go. As Chinese proverbs say Stay COoL Everythings Fine, Have a Step Behind The Earth is NIce. Please don't be so childish smartass...smart in studies doesn't mean you are smart in everything. I can tell you one thing, Im very sure you are SUCKS in undertsanding the terms of friends and friendship. You might think you are not FIGHTING but others do. You might WIN on what you fighting for, but you LOSE your friends. TRUTH ? RIGHT or WRONG? Who knows exactly what had happened? There is no absolute truth in this world. Cheerish what is in front of you !!! You will see others is not so important then..

my Promise?

1) Tidy room - since ages ago
2) Help mom choose photo - since ages and really felt very sorry to her
3) Change my bad habits - never ever?

Why I always felt I'm very busy? Am I don't know how to manage my time? Others have 24 hours a day while I do enjoy the same privilege. Why others can but I just can't?

How Are You?

I just want to know how are you...please don't reply me fine as we learnt in kindergarden ya. Tell me your ups and downs.

My Health Condition

1) Thinner than before
2) Have fever, flu, diarrhoea.
3) No appetite although damm hungry
4) Nearly became zombie.
5) Weak

My Y2S1 sem breaK- How did I spend it?

1) Taiping + Penang Trip
2) Genting Trip
3) Dad bday
4) Simple KL trip with family
5) Play games
6) Watch TV
7) Watch movie-Stephen Chow
8) Pray to Nine Emperors God (Kao Ong Yah)
9) Visit relatives

My Dad Bday

Go have a simple dinner at Serdang. I'm hungry but just no appetite.

Genting Trip 27/9-28/9

Pros
1) Have some fun
2) Meet up with my dearest family
3) First time in casino
4) Won few bowl of noodles for my lunch. Thanks

Cons
1) Diarrhoea- serious
2) Tired-Lack of sleep
3) Little fever
4) Burn a hole again after a big hole in my pocket.

Penang & Taiping Trip 21/9-24/9

Pros
1) First time being there with a bunch of friends.
2) Taste a really nice mushroom soup.
3) Saw something new perhaps.
Cons
1) Been there many times before.
2) Burn a BIG hole in my pocket.
3) Miss my uncle's dinner.
4) Political troubleshooting.
5) No luck.

Want or Don't Want

Is it the same with both also have a word 'want' inside? Sometimes why we said want but God heard wrongly that we said don't want. When we said DON'T WANT for GOD sake, God think we desperately want it that much. Isn't it happens to all of us most of the time. Think it...

1) I duwan fail >>> FAIL you go
2) I want to get an A >>> B you go
3) I duwan to think it anymore >>> the more you will think actually
4) I want to remember what I've studied >>> You remember nothing in exam.
5) I duwan your help >>> Suddenly people are so helpful
6) I want to forget it ASAP >>> You remember back everything ASAP
7) I duwan be late to class today >>> You surely will late again
8) I want to find a new gf/bf >>> end up being can't find anyone
9) I duwan to have a relationship >>> Suddenly cupid is following you everywhere you go.

Seventh Heaven VS 18th Level of Hell

WHO is more POWERFUL here? Will you take a risk to change your life rather than live in the middle forever. Pay the price and you will know. The price is not cheap and it's not expensive either. Is something money can't buy

yesterday, today, tomorrow

Everyone is unique even ourself. If yesterday I told you I'm sad. If today I tell you I'm down. If tomorrow I telling you I'm moody. You will only know I'm not happy. You think there is no changes but actually it has a huge difference. Sometimes expression and feeling can't be measure like mathematics to tell you. No words is close enough to give any definition.

AsK FoR LeSS

STOP right now, thank you very much. Who like being sad? Who like being down? Who like being moody? It's not a good feeling and wish to stop it too but somehow not everything in this world is under our control. Again, Time Will Tell

L I F E in L O VE

Someone told me that although we know Love is very complicated but we still fall for it. Why? My answer is Life is a straight line without Love. Love gives us ups and downs like roller coaster. It makes our Life more colorful. Sometimes Love cost you a bitter taste. If so, time is the best medicine to cure you. Don't be afraid of this taste, Who doesn't experience it? Just a matter of sooner or later. Be someone special by doing something special. Love make your life special. You are special in front of your partner. You feel special like no other. An ordinary person will not experience it. Isn't it worth for everything?

Pr I vacy

Sometimes human need some privacy. Do not control too much even dreams also you get in.

3 seconds Vs 3 Years

3 seconds looks short while 3 years looks long. However, I think sometimes 3 seconds might be worth than 3 years. I got nothing out from 3 years. From 3 years, I got really nothing because I've been foolish. I should know time frame is not a factor for you to see things and expect things. At least 3 seconds give me no hard feeling. I don't even know anything when it pass by. It is a lot better rather than what 3 years will leave for me.

September

What a lovely month. I'm not referring to September 16. That's got nothing to do with me. I'm referring to September 26. A memorable day for the rest of my life. It is the day which gave me all the taste of life. Fill me up with so many things. Should I say thanks? Tell me.

History>> A rubbish subject

We learn in school that whoever doesn't remember history, tend to repeat it. This is a total rubbish and crap. We tend to live in the past for history. We should learn how to get into future not wondering the past. Stupid subject brain washing us with stupid thinking and now we are far behind others because we love staying at the back with all those so called 'history'

Another thing is, 'history' is something created by some very brilliant intellectual. It is for a man in power either a government, a nation or a kingdom to ERASE the truth and REPLACE it with what he think it is right. What is REPLACE today becomes HISTORY tomorrow and it becomes REALITY in future. Your kind-hearted teacher will spread his/her knowledge to all of you. Congrats, that you have got another A in your exam

Facial Expression

I should learn fortune telling. The most important and useful part for me which is face telling. I need to see who is the devil within the best dressed angel skin.

YOU got a PIECE of ME

Congratulations to you for successfully having a piece of me. A very important part of me but it is not forever. Wound can cure. I learn this since the very first day I learn to walk and I fell, I stand up and walk again and it's hurting. It's really hurt but I learn how to walk til this very second.

Money Can Buy What? What Can Money Buy?

Sometimes I think that money is not important compare to the bond of love and friendship. Anything affected by money is simply means not true enough or not strong enough. I have to agree with the HK top criminal 'This world is all about money". People say money is not everything, I think money is almost everything. Money can buy almost all the things in the world just the matter of the value. Money can buy a human (baby/human trafficking), Money can buy health (doing surgery and seeking doctor is very expensive), Money can buy love (nobody will marry a poor with now people looking for 5C and 5M and etc), Money can buy Life (mafia do this), Money can buy you happiness ( I don't know is this true but without money surely unhappy), Money can buy you time (don't have to work OT, without having taking slow public transport), Money can buy you Datukship (in Malaysia is yes), Money can buy dignity (even a salesman talk gently to you), Money can buy friends (of course, but not a TRUE 1), Money can buy you education (going study overseas rather than work right after secondary school), Isn't it everything? This world rotate because there is something call money. We are born to look for money till the day we die. We work from young till old for that reason too. We study hard since young just to equip ourself to find bigger money. Our life is control by money. Life without money is when you are R.I.P. That's the time when you have no relation to it...Ops. actually although you are but your family have to bear the cost of funeral. Even after death can spend money. Is this a joke. Not it isn't. As some says 'Do not die if you don't have enough money' or 'Have time to die, don't have time to sick' >>>medical is truly expensive

Feeling Weak

Learn not to cry since small, I thought I was tough. This is a real test to me. I never feel this weak before. However, I hope I can learn something from it. This is something will happened in matter of time. I need to be strong, perhaps stronger. It is the end. Human are materialistic. Human show the face of devil once is at your back...

Please Accept It

Why still feeling undecided? Its becomes history this very moment. It is reality for now and future. You have to learn on how to accept it.

NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE

This saying is good and it make sense. It gives a really positive side to people who read it. It is real and will happen. However, to make it more realistic, I think nothing is impossible but mostly impossible remains impossible...

FiNal Exam-31 hours remaining-

Haven start study anything at all, Where are all my notes? What are coming out? How the questions will be like? What is the format? I still have no IDEA on it...Maybe I have the information but just haven organize and process from my brain...so I am being honest, I really haven start to study at all. why no people believing me?

Vitamin C+

Once, one of my friends tell me that as we grow and grow, we got less and less TRUE friend. I agree with her. Why in this world TRUE friends is so little?

Cruel is Good

Sometimes I think I have to be cold blood enough and cruel a bit so I can forget all unhappiness. Don't ever look back. Don't ever remember back.

Cheap

Just by receiving a little present can have someone to do anything without reason? corrupted mind...I don't know there are these type of person in this world...

Final Y2S1

I'm in year two already. Industrial training just 3 months ahead but I feel I'm not prepared for all this yet. Final exam few days left but I haven't start revision and do not have any picture on the exam at all. Not even the format. Maybe I not keen to know at all. Exam is nothing hard but getting a good grade in exam is what making it so tough. Every exam I will promised myself to start working hard but this courage words, I will delay for next semester and so on. Never change.

at LAST

Finally unsettle stuff related to my job are getting done TODAY after haunting me for about 1 year. Have to give myself a credit for the determination in making things done although has been draggy.

Blocker & Blogger

I'm both. I'm forced to do so. I have reasons for doing this !!!

Wake Me Up When September Ends

I hope I can out of this by the end of this September. I want to settle all this once and for all. Is it too late? Will I regret for being to late to take action?

Trust

I put my trust in you, but you proved to me that I couldn't trust you anymore. You are no either better than me. You are just like me. Please stop pretending. At least I won't be like what you doing now. Just show your TRUE colour. This is not the first day I know you. I know you better than any other did. You can fool the whole world but NOT me

Back to the future ? Go to the future?

Do not look back. Look front !!! But what is the meaning in future if someone do not have past? However past do not help you in order for you to have future. You want to live in past or you think past will have you to have better future? Buddha, Give me a hint !!! Give me a sign !!! I need PeAcE in my LIFE

Give A Shit?

When I don't give a shit, you want a shit. When I give a shit, you give me a damm shit. Why should I give you a shit when you doesn't even care to give me a shit. Damm shit you; Damm you shit

All or Nothing

Perhaps I shouldn't have expect anything from beginning. I already chosen and expect nothing but you said you want to give me all. When I just about thinking to take all back, you chosen nothing to give. Are you playing me? Am I so fun to be played? Is God testing my patience? I'm not good at all in all taking all this. Please let me go, Please let it go, I need a brand new day, a brand new world, a brand new LIFE. When is someone finally has it says to help me out from the dark?

Serious or Joking?

Sometimes I really confuse with all those sarcastic smile or sarcastic words. I really don't know which expression should I give them. No expression again from me

Quiet-Diam diam

Whenever I keep quiet, it doesn't mean I do not understand. I really don't understand why it is a must for me to show expression whenever I'm listening. If I react, will it be too fake to do so? Sometimes I keep quiet because I wanted to concentrate and listen to what you are trying to say.

Whenever I keep quiet, it doesn't mean I'm BLUR. It might be I'm tired, moody and really don't have mood to show any expression to please you.

I'm not purposely to diam diam, just don't have things to say only but I'm listening

Friends

I got many friends. Many not as much as others. Maybe it is little. Somehow I feel I really don't have much friends as most of my friends don't understand me.I just don't wish my friend feel that I'm very annoying and irritating. Anything just tell me or leave me a message in friendster or facebook or just email me. Let me know

Moody-Sad-Blue

This words perhaps is very common to all my friends as these words are always shown in me. It is not common to me at all. Some friends even ask me 'Hey, I heard you say moody since few years back," Actually though the words are same from me but the definition of this words to me is always different. I wish I could tell my feeling to my friends but I don't think my story is interesting to them. So I just used this 3 words to keep things short and simple. Behind this 3 words, it lies a great unhappiness, stone, problems, and all the negative feelings. Although if I willing to tell and someone willing to listen, but how am I to repeat the same thing over and over again for the second, third, fourth, and fifth person? I will feel myself like auntie nagging around. I don't think words can tell what am I feeling. Only those who feels the same know. Those who understand do not need me to say much while those who don't understand also won't need me to tell as even I tell them, they might not understand in the end. I really don't know where to start telling also, from which parts? which problems because it is too many things inside me. To be honest, someone do not moody so easy with some little problem or with just one problem. There are many factors which cause all this. Why someone can moody for so long? I also don't know. Maybe I'm trying to escape from facing the reality? Maybe the problems I face, I never care to solve them? Maybe problems and unhappy things happened more than happy things? I wish to find out the answers to. Its not a good feeling to be moody. Its hurting, feels like living without soul. Meaningless~ . Seems that I'm born to have punishment from god. I'm appreciate some of my friends very much because they do care when I tell them that I'm moody though they might feel bored with the same old words from me.

I'm telling the TRUTH

When I'm said I'm busy, I really mean it. I'm not telling any lies but why there is nobody want to believe me? Maybe only my course mate understand me because they experienced the same thing. Sometimes I really feel frustrated with people never understand with what I said. After all, I think back, I realise I can't blame them. People might not understand you because it does not happened to the. It's hard to expect they will know what you are thinking. Even you yourself might not know what you are thinking. Actually the word 'busy' is not an excuse for me. Here is the story, to put it in simple way, I will try my best to cut it short. There are a lot of work for me to do, so I'm busy. I working on all the works and when I finish one, another two coming...That's why I'm busy. After almost complete everything, I have to give myself some rest after being so busy. The problem is, when resting, people thought I'm giving excuses as resting doesn't appear to be in busy. The thing is I need to rest so I can solve my works and no longer busy. There is always misunderstanding on this. The second part is, when I'm busy, my friends ask me out, so my schedule from tight become full. So when I say busy is because I have no free time in my schedule anymore. Here come the misunderstanding where people thought I'm giving excuses when I'm so free to hang out with friends. As conclusion, you might not understand what I'm trying to say as it is complicated and it is a real problem to me =(

Lazy or Busy?

I love blogging but at the same time, I'm too busy with assignment and working. I plan to work so I can learn more outdoor knowledge besides just studying. I know what I can learn and get from working will help me adapt with the social needs... This is what the society demanding...You have to change to adapt the society than society change because of you. Busy had become an obstacles restricting me from blogging as often as others. Someone tells me that there is nothing I can't do when I'm busy. There's is many things I can't do when I'm lazy...I'm wondering of this words

B U S Y~H E C T I C

I wish I could write as much as I can but my situations just not allow me to do so. I can't even hanging out with all my heart with the time constrain of assignments. . .Just can't do what I like or become who am I. AM I WHO AM I NOW?

Who Might Understand? ~Words~

I really hope there's someone in this world know what am I doing. My feelings are no longer may expressed through words. I'm running out of words, perhaps my knowledge are not enough. How I wish to tell but not able to do so. Just don't know what to say when I open my mouth. Words just swallow back. Inside me there's still a mixture of stress+moody+pressure=bomb. I'm gonna be crazy one day. I need a long long vacation. P E A C E. Just the wind by my side and listen to the music of waves. Watching sunrise each day on top of the mountain or by the beach is enough to give me a new L I F E. If this is not a fantasy, it is great. Living in an utopia is worth for everything.

S O S

Help !!! So much assignments and don't know how to start. Why all have to pass up at same time and same week with my mid-term...Miracle where are you ???