Moody-Sad-Blue

This words perhaps is very common to all my friends as these words are always shown in me. It is not common to me at all. Some friends even ask me 'Hey, I heard you say moody since few years back," Actually though the words are same from me but the definition of this words to me is always different. I wish I could tell my feeling to my friends but I don't think my story is interesting to them. So I just used this 3 words to keep things short and simple. Behind this 3 words, it lies a great unhappiness, stone, problems, and all the negative feelings. Although if I willing to tell and someone willing to listen, but how am I to repeat the same thing over and over again for the second, third, fourth, and fifth person? I will feel myself like auntie nagging around. I don't think words can tell what am I feeling. Only those who feels the same know. Those who understand do not need me to say much while those who don't understand also won't need me to tell as even I tell them, they might not understand in the end. I really don't know where to start telling also, from which parts? which problems because it is too many things inside me. To be honest, someone do not moody so easy with some little problem or with just one problem. There are many factors which cause all this. Why someone can moody for so long? I also don't know. Maybe I'm trying to escape from facing the reality? Maybe the problems I face, I never care to solve them? Maybe problems and unhappy things happened more than happy things? I wish to find out the answers to. Its not a good feeling to be moody. Its hurting, feels like living without soul. Meaningless~ . Seems that I'm born to have punishment from god. I'm appreciate some of my friends very much because they do care when I tell them that I'm moody though they might feel bored with the same old words from me.